The past few days have not been so good for me, emotionally that is…its been the worst, and during these times i cant help but miss the people who never cease to give me comfort…my parents! But i miss my dad in particular, i miss him terribly. I miss the way he
shielded me from harm, pain, hardships and anything that poses as a big risk to me.
As a child, i was pampered, well-loved and very well taken cared of…I was a daddy’s girl. Yes, he was strict, very strict in fact, but his love adumbrated that fear I had. I remember those times when we would just drive off to places Ioved going to, and while driving, he would sing me spanish songs, that i eventually learned to sing along with, (he wasnt a good singer tho’ but yet, i remained to be his number 1 fan…lol) I remember vividly the song, La Cucaracha, he changed the lyrics of the song which rhymed perfectly…too bad i dont know how to spell the words in spanish, but the song meant something like, "there is this little girl named ana, and this girl is very pretty and is sooo loved by his daddy" it went on and on. And during these times when i feel so sad, i dunno but for some reason the song seems to keep reverberating in my ears. Its like he is just around somewhere, whispering in my ear, "Hush now, my nena (my dad’s nickname for me) everythings going to be ok, Daddy’s here".
We also used to walk around the block every night and do our "ghost hunting" and when the darkness scares the wits outta me, he would carry me on his shoulders and utter words that make all those creepy feelings disappear. There was also one time when we played hide and seek and i hid in one of the most unexpected place a kid would ever think of hiding…in our "ropero", it took him ages to find me until i fell asleep inside, geez that scared my dad which almost cost him his life, i saw him white as a ghost, and when he saw me he hugged me so tightly until i saw tears of relief rolling down his cheeks. He was my protector. God! i wish he was really here to give me a hug, Im sure things would have been so much easier. I miss him terribly!
Its true losing a loved one is never easy in moments like these, you yearn for them immensely and the pain of that memory strikes like lightning, it comes suddenly and lingers for a while.
Last night i was praying to God to at least allow me to hug my dad even in my dreams but too bad, i guess the lines to heaven were busy at that moment. So in the hope of getting my msg across i uttered a simple wish to my dad telling him to guide me and make
his presence felt, and as i type this blog, tears just cant stop falling as I feel him beside me now and watching over me…dang! too bad im here in the office letting it all out is quite hard, the Lord truly works in mysterious ways. My dad is here to comfort me!! I knew it! he would never fail me….to my dear dad, thank you for coming into my life for molding me to become the person that i am right now,
thank you for all the memories, thank you for all the lessons you taught me and most of all thank you for all the LOVE you unselfishly gave…. I LOVE YOU, DADDY!!
With my dad, the late Jose Maria Arcas…and my fave doll, pingoy…we were all inseparable then…