A rose can change a shade of blue…

Its amazing when strangers become friends, even more amazing when that friend turns out to be more than a friend but then the odds may be against you that suddenly that special friend becomes a stranger again….

In this world, we meet different people from all walks of life,and in various ways. But meeting these people is never an accident, there is always a purpose for it. Meeting them either turns out to be of great significance in ur life or otherwise. I myself have met few strangers who eventually became a very integral part of my life. Somehow, you nurture that person like some precious jewel. As you journey on, you find yourself driven to that person more and more, giving, revealing and sharing more about yourself and always thinking about the good welfare of that person. But it truly puzzles me when along the way things change; the seemingly sweet-tangy taste suddenly becomes sour and eventually leaving a bitter-pungent flavor. Its sad but I guess change is indeed inevitable, people change (some do it gradually while others do it drastically, its like a 360 degrees change) and i guess we are not that stupid not to notice that ….ouch! you may have thought that what you shared is something that they will also cherish….but no! things dont always turn out the way you expect them to be..if they choose to forget about you and the moments u shared or if they push you away, then just learn to accept it, it IS heartbreaking indeed but thats their choice they might want that CHANGE and a part of it probably doesnt include you, so dont fret…just move on…I guess one thing i have learned is never expect people to regard you the same way that you do…you MAY consider them special but in return they either consider you shit! learn to discern the signals they send and heed their call, so just take baby steps backwards then soon you’ll just find yourself drifting away….far far away…its hard to force yourself to someone who detests you, well maybe the time is not right, in the next lifetime perhaps?…..for now, i realized that a rose can change a shade of blue….sad…sad…sad….but its all a matter of respect and acceptance…With this I would like to leave u w/a wonderful quote about the people we meet…

” Those who appear in your life– whether to help or to harm — are all God given. Meet all of them with a peaceful heart, but with a warrior’s spirit.

You will fall many times, but in falling you will learn, and in learning you will find your way.

Remember, there are no mistakes in life–only lessons. And lessons will keep on repeating….until learned.”

For my dear Daddy….

The past few days have not been so good for me, emotionally that is…its been the worst, and during these times i cant help but miss the people who never cease to give me comfort…my parents! But i miss my dad in particular, i miss him terribly. I miss the way he shielded me from harm, pain, hardships and anything that poses as a big risk to me.

As a child, i was pampered, well-loved and very well taken care of…I was a daddy’s girl. Yes, he was strict, very strict in fact, but his love adumbrated that fear I had. I remember those times when we would just drive off to places we Ioved going to, and while driving, he would sing me spanish songs, that i eventually learned to sing along with, (he wasnt a good singer tho’ but yet, i remained to be his number 1 fan…lol) I remember vividly the song, La Cucaracha, he changed the lyrics of the song which rhymed perfectly…too bad i dont know how to spell the words in spanish, but the song meant something like, "there is this little girl named ana, and this girl is very pretty and is sooo loved by his daddy" it went on and on. And during these times when i feel so sad, i dunno but for some reason the song seems to keep reverberating in my ears. Its like he is just around somewhere, whispering to my ear, "Hush now, my nena (my dad’s nickname for me) everything's going to be ok, Daddy’s here".

We also used to walk around the block every night and do our "ghost hunting" stints and when the darkness scares the wits outta me, he would carry me on his shoulders and utter words that make all those creepy feelings disappear. There was also one time when we played hide and seek and i hid in one of the most unexpected place a kid would ever think of hiding…in our "ropero"or we commonly call laundry bin, it took him ages to find me until i fell asleep inside, geez that scared my dad which almost cost him his life, I saw him turn white as a ghost, and when he saw me he hugged me tightly until i saw tears of relief rolling down his cheeks. He was my protector. God! i wish he was really here to give me a hug, Im sure things would have been so much easier. I miss him terribly!

Its true losing a loved one is never easy in moments like these, you yearn for them immensely and the pain of that memory strikes like lightning, it comes suddenly and lingers for a while.

Last night i was praying to God to at least allow me to hug my dad even in my dreams but too bad, i guess the lines to heaven were busy at that moment. So in the hope of getting my msg across i uttered a simple wish to my dad telling him to guide me and make his presence felt, and as i type this blog, tears just cant stop falling as I feel him beside me now and watching over me…dang! too bad im here in the office letting it all out is quite hard, the Lord truly works in mysterious ways. My dad is here to comfort me!! I knew it! he would never fail me….to my dear dad, thank you for coming into my life for molding me to become the person that i am right now, thank you for all the memories, thank you for all the lessons you taught me and most of all thank you for all the LOVE you unselfishly gave…. I LOVE YOU, DADDY!!

With my dad, the late Jose Maria Arcas…and my fave doll, pingoy…we were all inseparable then…